Tied Up
“If I could… could forget him, I would. Please believe me.”
It's 4am and I have a lot on the brain, so let's talk. Well let me ask a question: What do you do when all you can do is think about doing the thing you know you shouldn't do? We have all been there… some of us multiple times. *raises hand* When you know that if you do it, you're gonna fall into a trap, and most of the time, it's AGAIN. What about feeling that way about a person? You know that if you contact them, more than likely nothing good will come of it. It literally takes everything in you sometimes, not to contact them. I don't understand why this so hard! Why can't I just let them go? It's because they hold a significant piece of your mind, heart or soul.
Ahh, the soul.
Yep. One of those areas that's hard to release even after you say you're letting go. If you have allowed yourself to become soul tied to someone who is not your boo, bae, girl or your man, you have put yourself and your heart in one of the most challenging positions. Imagine having a rope around your soul and giving the other end to someone. You walk away, but your soul never detaches from you, it simply stretches to accommodate how far you have walked. The problem is, you've given your heart to someone else, yet you still feel the tug on your soul because the other person is still holding the other end of the rope. Whew!
Soul ties are NO JOKE. You will find yourself thinking about that person or that time, without even trying. You will want so bad to erase memories simply to because you want to be done like you said you were. You think to yourself, maybe I just need closure...
There's that word "closure" again. Go back a few blogs and read my thoughts on that!
You always feel like you just need one more conversation. You may even convince yourself that talking to them is the best thing to do in order to "get it out of your system." Wrong. Why? Because any conversation is going to bring up old thoughts, feelings, pains, emotions and you shouldn't torture yourself like that unless you're talking to a therapist or spiritual advisor for healing.
I know all I wanted was an explanation. Why did it end how it did? Did he mean any of it, or was I just a moment in time? I even wanted to go as far as to ask what the future could have possibly been if things were different. But things aren't different girl! You're married! Why put your heart through that?! Why question what will never be, only to relive the pain all over again? Your heart gets pulled in such a way that logic sometimes goes out the door.
I'm not saying that this is how it is for everyone, but let me just say what it did for me. A soul tie is going to attach to the part of you that's deficient. See I got tied up 7 years into my marriage. I had lost sight of myself and needed to feel like I was still me, like somebody liked me and at that time in my life, I needed to laugh. I got that in every sense of the word and it only took a few days to fall. Wait... Only days? Yep. But I already knew him, we were friends first. He catered to the part of me that needed to be touched. Right down to that sexual energy that needed satisfaction.
So... Was it worth it?
My heart, mind and spirit all say no because all of those feelings were satisfied in a dishonorable way. But hey, I got what I wanted right? Long live the memories right? Yea right. You mean those memories I wish I could erase? Then maybe it wouldn't be so hard. That's what you're left with once you have acquired a soul tie. You gotta avoid sexual or deeply emotional exchanges with someone who you aren't meant to be with for the long run. Especially when you're in a place of vulnerability.
Soul ties. Not impossible to untie, but some of the strongest knots you will ever experience in your life. It's been years and I'm still undoing knots in certain areas, but with some serious prayer and finally learning to love myself, I can personally tell you that freedom is absolutely possible. But… why get tied in the first place, just to have to go through the process of untying? Like the Bible says, you gotta guard your heart. [Proverbs 4:23] The best way to do that? No passing out ropes.
#MorningCoffee #NoSugarNoCream
